A sincere appeal from a citizen of the world to the Egged Bus Company, to allow us to pay for our fares online in an effort to prevent nuclear holocaust.
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| There is a simple way to make this easier. |
It was just this morning when I received an email from the student union at Hebrew University, with a tip for students about how to pay for their bus fares using the new "Rav-Kav" cards. It said that students who have not bought a monthly or yearly bus pass are entitled to a 33% discount when buying a "kartisiya" (a multiple ride ticket). It said that instead of paying the normal 51.20 NIS for ten rides, students could pay 64 NIS for 15 rides.
I did the math, and realized it didn't quite add up. A 33% discount would be 51.45 NIS or so for 15 rides. So I decided to look at the Egged website to see what it had to say.
Indeed, the egged website does say that students (who have not bought monthly or yearly passes) are entitled to buy kartisiyot at a 33% discount. Unfortunately, the site doesn't calculate out what that discount comes to, or how to get that discount.
I tried to imagine what it would look like when I tried to realize this discount whilst buying my kartisiya, because of course the only way to pay for a kartisiya is by paying the driver in person, and of course, the drivers know nothing about this student discount.
The scene would look like this: I would make my way through the horde of people trying to get up to the bus. When I finally reach (or am generally shoved to) the front, I would pull out my Rav-Kav card. I would tell the driver that I'm a student, and pull out my student ID. I would say that I want the 33% discount, to which the driver would say "ma pitom?" I would produce a print-out from the egged website where it says that students get the 33% discount. I would then pull out a calculator to show the driver what I ought to pay.
The driver would then adamantly refuse to give me the discount. The crowd behind me would start yelling at me to just pay. The driver would start yelling, the crowd would swell, and all hell would break loose.
Someone would get pushed. Someone would throw a punch. Someone would pull out a gun. Someone would get shot. 20% chance that a Jew would kill an Arab in the confusion. The third Intifada would start. Iran would attack Israel. Israel would counter-attack Iran. The US would attack China. There would be an alignment of allies on both sides, and nuclear war would break out, resulting in a nuclear holocaust.
Basically, what I'm saying is, for the love of Gd, and the world as we know it, Egged, please, let us simply pay for our bus fare on the internet. It would cost almost nothing to set up this system. And it might just save the world from an avoidable catastrophe.
